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tent moot crash - Conviction vs. voluntary compliance.
I have to say that I'm very proud of you both. Abbey, because I know it could not have been easy to confront this. When you're seeking forgiveness, it can be risky to correct the person whose grace you desire. Turi, because is can not have been easy to admit this. I like what I see.
OK, enough sunshine. Must select dark icon.
Interesting. Hey, can you comment on the difference between guilty and nolo contendre? I've always wondered about that. I get that it means "no contest," but A) how is that different from "guilty," and B) why do they even bother with the option?
Very interesting! Wow, so essentially you can be "convicted" without being "guilty as charged." I can see why that makes a difference if you have both criminal and civil charges against you. Makes sense. However, in terms of the layman's understanding of the justice system... woof, it sure isn't black-and-white. Thanks for 'splainin!
I learned a little more about this with the recent release of the three young men known as the West Memphis 3. They had served 18 years for murder; one of them was on death row awaiting the last hearing on his case when the state of Arkansas agreed to release them in exchange for an Alford plea. In this case, it prevents them from any action against the state and local law enforcement for the mishandling of their case. It also allows the state to hold conditions and restrictions over their heads, at least for awhile. Very not-black-and-white.
Thanks for clarifying. We were absolutely "busted," and as I said on one of my posts (one of the Questions from a DAYDian posts...in the comments, I think?) that I wish that someone had properly convicted Andrew. I would rather have had a black mark on my record and gotten out (I hope) than have continued to chug his Kool-aid. And Cherie would have gotten out at that point, as she's pointed out herself.
BTW and FWIW, I understand exactly what you mean by "verbal shortcuts." I have used them many times myself. Which is why my blog and entries have been so fecking long; I can't risk any misunderstandings when I'm trying to clarify such a pack of lies...
And I totally forgot to mention the fine on my blog. I actually just forgot it happened!
Well done for writing this!
This is so beautiful to watch unfold! <3
I get here via Fandom_Wank, where I understand you have kind of a bad name, which makes me sad. I've been reading your blog for years now, since I think 2008? and I've commented a couple of times before though I don't expect you to remember that :D Given the scope of Andy's actions, I think the people who accuse you of hanging onto a personal grudge don't really get it.
Anyway, I read through Abbey's blog and her entries and having reached "Operation Catch and Release" I'm glad to see that you two are more or less reconciled. I wanted to say, I can understand why neither of you were able to fall weeping into one another's arms. It only makes sense. There is some kind of public misconception that if you are mad at someone, and they publically say "Mea culpa, I effed up", even if they only address the tip of the iceberg, you are supposed to let go of EVERYTHING and have it all be smiles.
I am guilty of assuming that with someone I had wronged on a MUCH smaller scale, years ago. I wrote to her and apologized, and she accepted, and we continued to talk things out - and it turned very, VERY ugly. She still had (many, good) reasons to be angry with me that I had not addressed. I was insulted that she was still angry, and refused to accept responsibility for those. We parted badly and haven't really spoken since (other than impersonal communications), despite my very good intentions - I wasn't as mature and humbled as I believed myself to be. Because of how badly it went I haven't had the courage to contact her again with a more sincere apology, even though it's been 12-13 years now. But I understand now why she reacted that way and how selfish I was being.
Abbey is, thankfully, more mature than I was. And I don't blame you for being skeptical of her at first, and suspecting that her story might have been self-serving - after all, if it had been Andrew, that would've been the case. And although Abbey's story and apology had much more sincerity than anything Andrew is capable of writing, I think it's natural that you would miss that at first. You're human with emotions, expectations, and a history. So is Abbey. I think it's far more telling that you both spoke privately as adults and have continued to come to a place of increased understanding.
Sorry if I'm making untrue assumptions about where you were coming from. All I mean is, it makes sense to me, and I am just glad to see people move on from the past (and glad to see that people *can* move on. Except Andy, which is its own story).
Hi, Zebeckras. Thanks for speaking up--those were some nice things to hear. I wouldn't say Abbey and I are BFFs at this point, but it is very nice to see the person I met (and liked and trusted) coming back to the surface.
Dunno what to tell you about your former friend... it does seem like it'd be a lot harder to try a 2nd apology after the first one went down in flames. That may be a relationship where you have to agree to disagree, so to speak. If you want to try, just make sure this time you absolutely put on your A-game, be painfully honest, and include the whole shootin' match. Even if you don't actually send the letter or make the call, writing it all out might help you feel better.
*giggle* You could comfort yourself as you do it with the mantra, "Hey, at least I'm not as bad as Amy Player." >-P